Organic Child Like Faith

A recent conversation with a mom friend prompted me to write a little bit about how we can teach our children to grow in their faith and walk with God. This friend asked me what she could do to teach her child about her faith.   It got me thinking about what things we, as parents, can do to help our children live out their faith on a daily basis.

I truly believe that the greatest indicator of what a child understands about God and their faith starts in the home, and that we, as parents, are their greatest teachers.

Here are few basic, every day ideas of how we can teach our children to love God organically in our everyday lives:

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Continued Prayer: Children are never too young, or too old, to engage in age appropriate forms of prayer. As parents we can pray over our babies when we rock them, feed them, or drive with them. I believe babies can sense what this is from a young age and that it brings a great calm to their spirits. As they grow older, we can pray with our children. The types of prayers are dependent on the age and development of the child-but the consistency of doing this together is what is most important. Never underestimate the power of simple prayers like grace over meals, bedtime prayers, or prayers of thankfulness. One of my favorite things to do with Aiden is to pray as we're driving together in the morning, whether it be school, church, or a friend’s house. I turn off the radio, reach my hand back to hold his (in good driving conditions) and explain to him what I’m going to pray for (church, our day, Daddy’s meeting, etc.). We close every prayer, big or small, together in the name of Jesus. I want him to learn, at a young age, the power of praying in the name of Jesus.

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            Our words: The way we speak to our children, spouses, friends and family show the ways we edify God with our mouths. We can also speak scripture into our daily situations, using those “teachable moments” to introduce Biblical concepts-big or small-to help shape their understanding of the world around them.

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Our disciplines: When we take time to pray, reflect, read the word of God, and make church a regular part of regular family life, we are teaching our kids lifestyle habits that will never leave them. Do something fun like writing a memory verse on a chalkboard or mirror in your home, leave it hanging for them to see and discuss with them over the course of the week.

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Our generosity: What we do with our resources matters. Children learn first and foremost from their parents to begin thinking beyond themselves and start using what they have for God and others.  Having conversations about why we do certain things that are not “normal” with our resources (such as tithing, giving to special projects, or cleaning out toys to give to others in need) are all ways that our children can learn how to live generous lives at a young age. We were blessed to take Aiden this Christmas to deliver presents to some of the families our church sponsored. He may not have understood fully what he was doing, but, it was a great starting point for future conversations we can have as he grows older.

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Step Out: Continue to step out in faith in your own walk with God. Allow God to direct your family in ways that you can take faith steps together and show your kids what it is to step out in faith on a daily basis. Go to a soup kitchen, give something to bless God or others with, pray with someone in need at your home, serve on a ministry team, practice hospitality towards friends and “strangers”…when you don’t get too “comfortable” in your faith your kids will see that it’s living and active in you.

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The Life Giving Principle

The Life Giving Principle

Have you ever had one of those “aha” moments where FINALLY someone has been able to articulate a thought you’ve had that you couldn’t quite put together? I had that “light bulb” moment (as Oprah calls it) this weekend at our incredible “Access Granted” pastors weekend at Next Level Church.  This was a phrase that we heard the pastors, leadership, and volunteer teams using over and over again that just stuck with me. This phrase was “life giving.” It came in contexts such as this: “we would not do that again, even though it was good, because it violated our life giving principle,” or “is this life giving” or “we want to model our life giving principle.”

The question I asked myself is WHY did this phrase stick out so much to me? Why is this so relevant? I realized, after some prayer and thinking, that it’s one of the things I am most passionate about yet never had a right type of verbage to explain it. I would use words such as being “positive” or “upbeat” but they always failed to fully explain the feeling I had towards something, someone or a situation. This phrase just nailed it on the head!

As I pondered this principle and how I can implement this into my own life, marriage, family and church I realized that these two words-life giving-are centered strongly on some of the deepest roots of Christianity. Jesus said in John 10:10”I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full...” Jesus, the very son of God, died on a cross for one purpose…to give us LIFE! He IS the principle of being life giving. So why is the church at times or believers at times so at odds with being the model of this gospel principle?  I believe it’s because they’ve missed one of the main points of the gospel-to be LIFE GIVING in all that we say and do. Yes, Jesus is the way to eternal salvation and life more abundantly here on earth-but we, as believers, are to be his living models of this in the present. It says in 2 Corinthians 5:20 (the message) “We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for God today…”

So wherever you are at today, whether you find yourselves at odds with someone, frustrated about something, or just plain worn out and tired out from the things of life, I encourage you in this. Find a way to live out this life giving principle towards those around you. Consider your speech towards or about others-is the way you're talking violate this gospel principle? Consider how can you begin, with your words and behaviors, to breathe "life" back into that relationship or situation. Whether it is easy or one of the most difficult things to do, start to implement this gospel principle of being “life giving” and you will find that another Biblical principle will come back and encourage you. Proverbs 11:25 (The Message (MSG) ²⁵ The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”

Seeking Wisdom

A few nights ago, on my way home from a grocery shopping trip which was I gloriously able to do all alone, I found myself singing along to an old Indigo Girls song that goes "and the less I seek my soul for some definitives, the closer I am to fine..."Okay I have to be honest, I am not a hundred percent sure that that's how the lines go, however, I have a knack for making up lyrics that are surprisingly similar to the real ones so let me know if I'm off here.

Although I don't theologically agree with all of their standpoints in this song-oh well, it's a great song to sing really loud and with gusto! I love to sing it especially loud when they say "the closer I am to fine." This song brings back old memories of being in college and singing along with friends and being goofy, of driving to a cabin in the woods with family and jamming along the way. I love how that one line and those memories always bring a smile to my face.

I started thinking about what a new stage of life I am in as I was driving along Hwy 10, singing this song out loud, groceries in the back, tired from a long day of being wife, mom, friend, pastor, housekeeper and cook all at the same time.  I find myself seeking new wisdom from God in a new season of my life that I have never encountered before. I find myself trying to "navigate life" and seeking wisdom from Him in this new part of the journey we're on.

New seasons are always fun, but they are not always easy. In fact, I believe to my core that some of the greatest rewards come with the heaviest of responsibilities. If you want an easy life there may not be as much difficulty, stress, or pain, but, there may not be as much to show for it in the end. It may even be a little "melba toast" ish as they say. It's predictable, easy, but well, it's kind of bland.

I found myself as a mommy at a new crossroads in life. Our little baby is becoming a little almost two year old toddler. He's starting to understand right from wrong, yes from no, and he's starting to try and push the limits. Of course, that just makes sense, but, that doesn't make it easy.  Which leads me to the point of this blog...

I was on a recent trip to find  a new outfit to wear at the grand opening of our church. I was so excited to go that first thing this am I got up and got myself and Aiden ready to go shopping. We were off to a good start until we entered what I would say made me the happiest woman around....Ann Taylor Loft had a 60% off of clearance sale-and the racks were FULL of some of my favorite things!!! I was off, off and away-ready to shop when suddenly Aiden started to show signs of distress...it started small, whining here and there. I was diligent at ignoring it, handing off crackers to pacify, and then when I found him half unstrapped from his stroller and tipping it over I "unleashed" him to be free as long as he stayed close to me. It actually worked...for about 60 seconds, and then he was off on his own journey into the petites section...At first I tried to explain to him we needed to go towards the other section as mommy is not in petites, however, that's where he wanted to stay. I started to steer him towards my desired area of shopping and it spiraled downwards from there. For those of you that have not heard this fact, when Aiden was very little he would cry so hard he'd pass out and stop breathing. Yes pass out. Stop breathing. Gone blue. Scary stuff. Apparently this is typical in 25 percent of kids (according to our Dr) and you are simply supposed to lay them down on a soft surface and ignore it-apparently their body's brain will trigor them into breathing after they pass out and to intervene is to delay their response time in breathing. Thankfully for us this has been something he hasn't done for quite awhile. Until today, at Ann Taylor Loft, in the amazingly stocked clearance section. Lets just say from there I did my best to bring him to a dressing room and calm him, but alas, with cheez its thrown across the floor and clothes half off hangers all over, it was time to give in, call it quits and go home.

As I left I saw the looks of empathy from some women and disdain from other women who had already passed judgement and forgotten what it was like (or never known) to be in those shoes before. By the time I got him into his car seat and into the car John called and I cried. I cried a good twenty minutes home, trying to figure out if there was something wrong with my disciplinary style, my parenting ideas, or maybe even my son because he seemed far more dramatic at his tantrums than other kids his age.....it was just a moment of great confusion, questioning, and wondering if change needed to take place and whether the problem lied in myself, my child or both of us.

On our way home I decided it was a Mc Donald's day. This happens about once every sixth months for us as I am not a big fan, but today was that day. It was also a Dunn Brothers skim mocha ice crema day for me. We went on a good long drive, he watched Ratatouille and giggled and laughed (of course, he was in an excellent mood by then) and I just prayed, calmed down, and looked around for a possible future home for us one day. By the time we got back to the house we were both more relaxed and the caffeine had dulled an oncoming headache down. I was reminded of the advice our Pastor gave John and I when we were under stress years ago...he said "go for a drive, get a burger and a malt, hang out and watch a movie...sometimes, you just need a burger and some ice cream and to get your mind off of stuff." An ice crema was an equally good substitute I must say.

Later on, as I laid my calm, cute baby boy down for his nap I found myself smiling as he held out his hand to me while I was rocking him to sleep asking me to "pway" which means he wants me to pray with him. As I pwayed with him before his nap I began to pray God would help me as a mommy to this specific child, that he would give me wisdom and knowledge of how to guide him and care for him. What to do, not to do, and everything in between. I prayed Aiden would begin to enjoy the benefits of listening to mommy and daddy more, that he would learn to obey and be good when he needed to and to have fun and be at peace. Is that too much for a two year old? Maybe it's a long shot at times, but I know prayer is a good starting point.

I guess for now I'll just keep seeking wisdom from God as my life and my little baby keep changing before my eyes. I thank God whether I know the answers or not, I can always go to Him and pray and seek His wisdom.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you

A true Christmas miracle and the power of one word

As I write this blog I am in tears. My tears are over the loss of someone who has become very dear to our hearts that just passed away today, the day after Christmas. He lived a short life, but one of the most beautiful lives I have heard of or seen.


I have been touched by so many things that are happening in the lives of those who we know and love lately. There seems to be a lot of hardships that we have heard about, but since their stories are not mine to share I won’t go into details. However, the life of this little three year old boy touched me so much that I wanted to share his story with others who may be inspired by him as I have been.  His mother gave me permission to share his story because she wants the miracle of his life to be an encouragement to others.

This little man, Jameson Carrigan, was admitted to the hospital about four months ago to take care of a hernia.  In the process they diagnosed him with lymphangiomatosis and for the next four months he would go through a battery of medical procedures, tests and trials all in an attempt to make him better. There is a link to his caring bridge below.  I’d encourage those of you in my life who have gone through recent trials big or small to be encouraged by what I believe are God inspired journals that these parents have written. You can read them at:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/jamesoncarrigan/journal/2tly to check out which is:

The most beautiful part of this story was the love that his parents and family had for him and for God, and the way they viewed this entire process. They did not blame God, they did not hold It against him, but rather, in one of her last journal entries before Jameson passed, his mother Meghan shared

“We are still praying that God will heal him miraculously on this earth and we are still treating him and hoping he is able to muster the strength to come back to us.  My God is good all of the time and I am so thankful and honored that he chose us to have Jameson.  I don't blame Him for wanting him back so soon; my son is the best gift ever given.  Thank you for your prayers and support; we need it now more than ever.  Love, Meghan

What more can someone say other than what an attitude of gratefulness, what a heart filled with thanksgiving. What a way to celebrate a life and to leave a great legacy on this earth until they join their son one day in heaven. I am in awe through every journal she has written by the love, the positivity, the faith and the hope that this family has. It gives me a renewed perspective on everything in my life and the lives of those around me. It makes me want to be stronger and more grateful in every detail of my life.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the impact of this one simple word on any and every thing we encounter in our lives and that is: attitude. The way we see the world, glass half empty or half full, God’s provision or God’s negligence towards us, all affect the way we live every experience we will encounter, day in or day out. Attitude affects the way we feel physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It affects our health. If we chose not see the world with eyes of faith or hope we have stress that simply sits in our spirit causing anything from sleepless nights or ulcers. Many people point to their circumstances as an indicator of how they feel or even as an excuse not to move forward in life, yet I completely and one hundred percent disagree with that theory. Do not get me wrong- circumstances bring forth all types of emotions  They bring forth happiness, sadness, stress, grief, love, excitement and every other feeling under the sun. These ranges of emotions are all healthy, we all have to experience them, and we all have to accept that not every day is going to be an easy road. That’s just the nature of life.  I believe, however, that there is something far greater than circumstances that affect our day to day life and that is summed up in the word:

Attitude
By Dr Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my own attitude, and how it affects me, my family, my health, and those I come into contact with daily. I’ve been thinking a lot about it as we get closer to the launch of Northstar Community Church. I could look forward with eyes of fear, stress and worry. I could see all there is to be done and what I would like to have done better. I could go so far as to worry about what we will do if things don’t work out for the church, I can play this game until I find myself and my family not knowing what to do, worried about our future or how we’d bounce back. With one stream of thinking I can paint a horrible picture, full of bad things, trials and struggles. If I hold onto that attitude and fear the uncertain strongly enough, the worse might just come to pass.

OR….I can see the future with eyes of faith as it talks about in the Word. I can see our family life growing stronger, healthier and more vibrant by the day. I can see me and my husband ministering and living our dream and calling together in a unique and inspiring way.  I can see my son growing up and making life-long friends in this new church, having a common heritage and stories to share with kiddos like Hannah, Emmery and Jude. I can see an entire community that is changed by God simply because a small group of people went forward with expectation and belief that HE is more than able to build his Church. If I hold onto that thought for long enough, it just may come to pass. If I have faith to believe the scriptures in my Bible, and hold on to them without letting go, I may see far greater things than I can come up with in this blog come to pass.

See the power in that-just thirty seconds stuck in either stream of thought and my life looks completely different. My feelings are totally altered. My faith is either inspired or extinguished. My family is encouraged or discouraged. My marriage is built up or torn down. My future is bright or dim. My heritage is fruitless or powerful. It all starts with one word-ATTITUDE.

The Tipping Point

I've been meaning to blog for some time about re-encountering some semblance of "balance" in our lives as of late.  There was a popular book out a few years ago on leadership called "The Tipping Point" and that is actually not what this blog is about. Instead, it is more about finding that place again in my life where I feel like spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically I am healthy and happy again-instead of feeling like any small thing could "tip" me over the edge emotionally/mentally/spiritually/etc.

For awhile we'd been working so hard and for so long that we had very little time to worry about anything other than our new baby northstar.  It's a complete oxymoron (I like this word and use it often) for someone in ministry to allow the work of ministry to overtake them (aren't we supposed to be a picture of health in our overall lives) but we are just as human as the next and the work load is pretty big. Thankfully, however, it's always been our families goal to regain what we had developed in our lives in Chicago. A healthy blend of what we needed to be healthy and whole in every area of our lives personally and as a family.

I feel like I am finally staring to find "me"again and man that feels so good! As our house is now "established" and we're putting roots down into a community we don't see ourselves leaving for a very, very long time. We of course want to plant more churches down the road, but our vision is simply to send people from within our midst to go into the communities God has put on their heart and continue starting new churches. We don't see ourselves, however, being the ones to leave but rather to send.

I think for me, as a woman, to know that we are in a place where I can settle in, put down my roots, and get comfortable for a very long time there comes a sense of wanting to establish my life in such a deep, meaningful way here. I recently joined a mom's group in our community and I love it. I love that I am meeting such fabulous ladies who are SO hospitable and have already become fast friends to me. I also love that Aiden is meeting other little kids in the area that he'll likely be in grade school, sports, etc. with. It's any woman's dreams to have a healthy, happy family life being established and I see so many things I am excited to do now and look forward to being a part of in the future. I definitely want to be in the PTA and to be that mom that helps in the classroom. I love that kind of stuff and the connections it helps me to make with so many great people.

Along with making great personal connections in our new hometown, we have recently been blessed to be gifted with a membership to the YMCA. I have been someone who has always had a membership to a work out club and it was hard for me to go without that for the last year or so. For me, it's a way to outlet stress and to keep some of my melancholy tendencies at bay. It's very easy for my personality to be introspective and get caught up in my thoughts, so, it's important for me to get my serotonin pumping and moving through my body regularly (especailly in the winter!). It just makes me feel good, even if I am by no means a great athlete or fitness guru. It's also just time for "me" something that my personality thrives in. I love having alone time, especially as a mom and being in ministry, something that is purely "selfishly" for myself. I also love being able to pretend I am not in the Arctic when I sit in a warm hot tub and look outside on a sunny day. It immediately boosts my spirits! Even if I do LOVE being back in my little Arctic home state that has white mountain snow banks all around us right now!

I am so thankful to be re encountering my "blend" or balance of healthy, happy living again. It's so important to me that I have time for prayer and meditation, reading the Bible and other books that challenge my thinking, having time with other women in the same life stage, and having time for just me - and the best is John and I are getting regular date nights for the first time since Aiden's been born (a MUST in marriage!). It makes doing all the other stuff that isn't as easy to do (keeping up the house, working on challenging stuff for the church, etc.) so much more enjoyable.

I was sharing with John these thoughts on our date night last night. I told him it wasn't that I needed an equal amount of time spent between my spiritual, mental, emotional and physical selves, but rather, that what  I  needed what was a good "blend" of all for me to thrive. I think everyone has a need for these areas to be fulfilled in their lives. If one is lacking, it seems all are lacking. We all seem to have our own unique mix of time spent in each area that lets us get to a place where we thrive personally, and our goal is to keep fighting to get back to this place when we start to lose grip of it. It seems it's alway a battle to keep our priorities in line in life, but I am glad that there are times we can attain and enjoy that achievement, even if it may escape us again due to circumstances. The one thing is, we always want to aim to get back to that place even if we lose it from time to time.

The Church Planter's Wife

Well I have done it...I have started my own blog. I may be ten years behind on things, but, I found recently that my facebook status updates were too long and probably a little bit on overload with information about Northstar Community Church and what we are doing day after day.

I know my blog title for some may incite feelings of frustration as though I do not have a personal identity of my own. Really I've just always liked the book "The Pilot's Wife" and that's the inspiration of my title. Along with that, the rare nature of what John and I are doing has a massive impact on my daily life. Not to say that  our ministry overshadows other important aspects of my world, but it is an all consuming task to do something like starting a new church. In many ways it's similar to opening any business one is passionate about, it's an all day, every day thing. You find yourself eating it, drinking it, breathing it, sleeping it and starting all over with it again the next day. There are some days that I sit back and think "wow, I cannot believe we are living our dream! What an amazing heritage we will leave in this community and for our family. This is the best "job" ever!" and then there are the days where I wonder what in the world we have taken on!

I will be very honest in this blog about some my journey and the things we have gone through in planting a church. There have been amazing days, days of the miraculous happening, days of God's favor in our lives and in our church. Then, there are days where I have compared my feelings to this scripture in 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

" ^8-11We don't want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn't think we were going to make it. We felt like we'd been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don't want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God's deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part"

That was the verse that described my personal sentiments the week we were supposed to move into Coon Rapids. John had been sent by ambulance from the Dr's office to the hospital for fear he had a pulmonary embolism which can be very fatal. We were supposed to be moving in two days, our two year old was teething, and we were under a lot of strain. Most people would say "move another weekend" which would be logical. However, as a church planter you are completely dependent on other church's and people's support to start your church and John had every weekend until December booked to be out of town for fundraising. There was no way we could wait two more months to move. I felt like a women very pregnant with a dream (our church) taking on the weight of the world that weekend. I am sure my husband felt even worse, but I can't share how it was for him. All I know is this,as I sat at his hospital bed inundated with concerns for my husband's life, concerns for the medical costs we couldn't afford (part of church planing involves basically investing your total lives savings and not taking a paycheck so that was a big worry) and wondering if it would be better off if something bad did happen to us and we'd have to just avoid going further with what we knew God had definitely called us to. It was that intense for us.

The best part of  the story is this- we have some amazing support out there. I called two people, a women from our ministry in Chicago who literally has set aside days to be in prayer for us and our church and asked her to begin to pray. I also called Pastor Carlos in Chicago, he's always going to be our Pastor and he can handle my raw emotions. I'd worked at our church with him and John for five years and there had been a few moments where my emotional side had reared it's ugly head (imagine that!) and since he's a New Yorker and a man of prayer he could handle it! So, I cried to both of them about our woes, felt sorry for myself, and asked them to help pray me through it because I just didn't have the strength that day. They did.

When we got to our rental home in Coon Rapids (after my husband got lost for over an hour with the moving truck-remember, he's not familiar with all of MN territory) we found ourselves greeted by some of the most amazing members of our launch team, family and friends. John and I put our happy faces on and our amazing support group helped us far more than we expected or deserved. I am sure they sensed our level of exhaustion, and as amazing example of the Christian life they selflessly spent their Saturday taking care of us, moving us in and unpacking everything while we tried to help with the little reserves we had left. By the end of the day we were mostly unpacked. By the end of the week we were completely done and looked like we'd been there for months.  That story, my friends, shows the way the body of Christ was intended to operate. It shows the beauty of people whom we've just reconnected with or just met doing things for us that some folks wouldn't do for a close family member. That's the love and selflessness of Jesus being on full display for us and now for all of you reading this. And this is why I love the church as much as many oppose it-because when operating at it's full potential, in health, in an attitude where it's not about one's self but the needs of those around us, it is one amazing picture of the love of God.  That's the kind of church we want to be at Northstar, and that's the kind of lives we are daily striving to live now before we ever open the front doors.

Regardless of the challenges we've gone through or the blessings we've received while doing this, we know it is what God has called us to do and we are thankful he is using US! I am sure there are many other people that would be just as capable (if not more) of doing what we're doing but maybe they just didn't have the cajones (yes, I said it, I do use that word from time to time and since it's in Spanish you may not know what it means!) to put it all on the line like we are.

Many people have asked us, why does this matter to us so much? We could easily have taken other opportunities that presented themselves and do an"easier" form of ministry (that technically is an oxymoron that we already know doesn't exist in any church). Our simple explanation is this-we feel like we have a once in a lifetime chance to do something we are passionate about, with freedom of expression to do "church" as we feel it should be done, and in a way that we believe will be a great ministry outlet for many other people that are just like us out there. People who have real issues, real fears and real pain. We want a chance to introduce them to the real God that helped us, and still guides us daily, through many of the same life issues.  There are lots of spiritual stories and reasons why we feel to do this, times of prayer where we've felt God moving, but those sound all so impractical to many people. Yet when you state the practical facts-that we are starting a new church in a town of 67,000 people that has a small handful of churches (6) and none that are representative of the style of ministry we want to do-we see a problem that needs a solution. We believe our church will be a place of refuge, of finding God and his help in navigating through this life that is never simple or easy. So that's about it in a nutshell.

I am very excited to use this blog as a place to share the very real, honest, vulnerable day to day things that we are experiencing-the good and the bad-while going through this journey of starting a new church. If anything, it's going to be a great outlet to process all of this "new" stuff that we are learning and going through every single day of our lives.